sometimes i'm just plain bored.
I SEE THE LIGHT!!!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Saturday, August 13, 2005
fugly and just freaky sights.
several weeks ago, i went to a seafood restaurant near subang jaya airport. while i was eating dinner, my sister and i spotted this incredibly loud lady (in more ways than one) with a hyperactive child, although i'm not sure that was her kid. mothers should be able to behave themselves, but noooooo, not this one. the kid was making such a ruckus, that i turned and happened to look at the lady.
i wanted to puke. she looked as if she had been just released from fashion jail and was looking to be arrested again! any SANE person would tell you that you do not clash patterns! i took a picutre with my sister's phone to let you all see the horrendous sight.
you see you see? that lady in black and white.. first of all, the top is so damn fugly on her! makes your fatty bulges even more .. FAT! why on earth would you wear that woman????? and FLORAL PRINTS??!!! HAVE YOU GONE INSANE? only slim and skinny people should wear big prints because they make you look fat, you learn that in living skills, suprisingly. this whole outfit is just... it just... it just renders you speechless. don't harp on me about freedom of ..uh.. clothes. you want to dress like that and embarass yourself, go ahead, but pleaassseeee don't torture other people's vision like that! skali you let some poor depressed person see you and make that person more depressed then go commit suicide. or terrorism! hah! we're right next to an airport you know! you're giving one more reason to maniacs who are planning some other attention gabbing hijack!
"hmm... i wonder if i should risk my life to grab attention for a cause that involves berating americans using God as an excuse while sacrificing hundreds of innocent livews. woah, what is that flash - ARRGHHHH!!! what a horrible sight!!! let me die!!"
that is what a terrorist would be thinking.
on a scarier but at least less disgusting note, as i was walking to the toilet to wash my hands, i heard this terrible noise. (geez, first visually, now aurally. my senses are killing me!) i look to my left and get the second fright of the night.
it's a chicken, in case you can't see it clearly. you may be wondering why a chicken is scary, but it was VERY BIG, i tell you! and it kept opening its wings and flapping them very intimidatingly! and when you're at a seafood restaurant, the last thing you expect to see is a giant clucking chicken ALIVE AND ON THE LOOSE. and this one was extra scary. not like the docile pecking ones that have accepted their fate under the chopper and boiling water.
i got home alive.
yuen
i wanted to puke. she looked as if she had been just released from fashion jail and was looking to be arrested again! any SANE person would tell you that you do not clash patterns! i took a picutre with my sister's phone to let you all see the horrendous sight.
you see you see? that lady in black and white.. first of all, the top is so damn fugly on her! makes your fatty bulges even more .. FAT! why on earth would you wear that woman????? and FLORAL PRINTS??!!! HAVE YOU GONE INSANE? only slim and skinny people should wear big prints because they make you look fat, you learn that in living skills, suprisingly. this whole outfit is just... it just... it just renders you speechless. don't harp on me about freedom of ..uh.. clothes. you want to dress like that and embarass yourself, go ahead, but pleaassseeee don't torture other people's vision like that! skali you let some poor depressed person see you and make that person more depressed then go commit suicide. or terrorism! hah! we're right next to an airport you know! you're giving one more reason to maniacs who are planning some other attention gabbing hijack!"hmm... i wonder if i should risk my life to grab attention for a cause that involves berating americans using God as an excuse while sacrificing hundreds of innocent livews. woah, what is that flash - ARRGHHHH!!! what a horrible sight!!! let me die!!"
that is what a terrorist would be thinking.
on a scarier but at least less disgusting note, as i was walking to the toilet to wash my hands, i heard this terrible noise. (geez, first visually, now aurally. my senses are killing me!) i look to my left and get the second fright of the night.
it's a chicken, in case you can't see it clearly. you may be wondering why a chicken is scary, but it was VERY BIG, i tell you! and it kept opening its wings and flapping them very intimidatingly! and when you're at a seafood restaurant, the last thing you expect to see is a giant clucking chicken ALIVE AND ON THE LOOSE. and this one was extra scary. not like the docile pecking ones that have accepted their fate under the chopper and boiling water.
i got home alive.
yuen
sweet update
it is my sad sad duty to inform you all that i am discontinuing my sweets story due to a guilty conscience. you will just have to use your own imagination to Mr. Ginger.
yuen
yuen
Friday, August 12, 2005
EYER!!!! ka chat!!
yesterday, i was preparing myself for sleep, and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face, and then take out my contacts. i stifled my scream when i saw this HUGE ka chat (cockroach in cantonese) buzzing on the bathroom floor. i quickly jumped out of the bathroom and switched off the lights. i don't know why i did that, because obviously the cockroach 'sees' with its creepy long pervy antennae, and doesn' t care if the bathroom light is on or not.
now usually in my house, when i see a cockroach, i will immedeatly scream " DADDY!!! got ka chat! kill it! " unfortunately, this happened at two a.m. when i was supposed to be asleep, like a good girl. so i brushed my teeth in record time and took out my eyeballs (as my sister calls them) and darted the cockroach a death glare. one day.. ONE DAY, i will get my revenge on you. i was sore, you see, becuase i didn't dare wash my face because that would require me closing my eyes, and not able to keep my eye on it.
in case you're wondering why i have such a phobia about cockroaches, it's because when i was younger, i was taking my bath, and i felt some weird ticklish feeling on my leg, i look down and there is this cockroach hanging on my leg!!!!!!!!
so then, here i am, watching tv, waiting for dinner to come home, when i hear a buzzing behind me. i see the brown enemy, and i head sneakily for newspaper. after a second thought, i decide to get the extra thick marie claire magazine for extraweight and momentum. i roll it up..
i stalk over to the ka chat..
Revenge.
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
I look at the cockroach. it is still twitching.
*WHACK*
cockroach is no longer moving.
*whack*
one more itme just to be sure.
i grab a handful of kleenex, and dispose of it MYSELF. (wah, so proud man)
but just before, i grab my camera.
i call it 'morgue : end of the creepy crawlie'
now usually in my house, when i see a cockroach, i will immedeatly scream " DADDY!!! got ka chat! kill it! " unfortunately, this happened at two a.m. when i was supposed to be asleep, like a good girl. so i brushed my teeth in record time and took out my eyeballs (as my sister calls them) and darted the cockroach a death glare. one day.. ONE DAY, i will get my revenge on you. i was sore, you see, becuase i didn't dare wash my face because that would require me closing my eyes, and not able to keep my eye on it.
in case you're wondering why i have such a phobia about cockroaches, it's because when i was younger, i was taking my bath, and i felt some weird ticklish feeling on my leg, i look down and there is this cockroach hanging on my leg!!!!!!!!
so then, here i am, watching tv, waiting for dinner to come home, when i hear a buzzing behind me. i see the brown enemy, and i head sneakily for newspaper. after a second thought, i decide to get the extra thick marie claire magazine for extraweight and momentum. i roll it up..
i stalk over to the ka chat..
Revenge.
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
I look at the cockroach. it is still twitching.
*WHACK*
cockroach is no longer moving.
*whack*
one more itme just to be sure.
i grab a handful of kleenex, and dispose of it MYSELF. (wah, so proud man)
but just before, i grab my camera.
i call it 'morgue : end of the creepy crawlie'Thursday, August 04, 2005
chapter 2
The Queen who owned the kingdom was a fussy old lady who one day after watching an episode of 'Miss Match', decided to start matchmaking as well in her spare time. So, one day, she decided to match make one of her subjects : Mr. Gingerbread man.
The Queen threw an enormous party in an effort to weed out tarts and find a suitable match for Ginger. Everybody who was anybody was invited, and huge rock hard rock cakes were hired to keep out the rag-a-muffins.
As Ginger strolled around, a wondrous sight beheld his soft gooey chocolate-y sight.
It was Miss Candy Cane.
Her lovely curvy figure entranced him. Her perfectly symetrical red and white stripes that swirled around her sugar coated figure hypnotised him. Her goofy laughter sounded like tinkerbell bells in his non-existent ears.
and he walked over to her..
The Queen threw an enormous party in an effort to weed out tarts and find a suitable match for Ginger. Everybody who was anybody was invited, and huge rock hard rock cakes were hired to keep out the rag-a-muffins.
As Ginger strolled around, a wondrous sight beheld his soft gooey chocolate-y sight.
It was Miss Candy Cane.
Her lovely curvy figure entranced him. Her perfectly symetrical red and white stripes that swirled around her sugar coated figure hypnotised him. Her goofy laughter sounded like tinkerbell bells in his non-existent ears.
and he walked over to her..
today's blog will be a very pissed off and furious blog as can be seen from my bright red font AND THE MANY EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!.
I ALMOST GOT RUN OVER TODAY!!!
i was innocently and, i admit, rather sleepily, walking across the road in front of my school, when some bloody idiot driving a silver car sped past me so CLOSE that i actually felt my bag touch the stupid side mirror!!! and the bloody farking idiot honked ME!! me???!!!
what is it's( since the obviously mentally defective person went so fast i didn't know if IT was a male or a female) bloody problem?? hah?? that wasn't even a 'pon pon'!!! this was a 'HOOOOOONNNNNNNNNKKKKK'!!! one of those super mengada-fied show off honks by drop outs and uneducated ass holes who do not know the meaning of and spelling of etiquette!
you want to drive it's not my problem. you want to drive fast and kill people, not my problem either. seriously la, do you really think i would care that much? would YOU? you want to drive and kill YOURSELF, LAGI not my problem. you want to drive and kill me, i come and whoop your ass, and tear you apart from limb to limb! I WILL GIVE YOU ONE TIGHT SLAP AND STUFF MY SUPER SHARP AND HARD FILE UP WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE!!!! you think i look small and docile, fella, you come and i show you what pent-up anger REALLY means!
drive so fast for what huh? HUHH?? i ask you, got fire is it? got baby to save from the burning building? got terminal disease is it? you want to die faster you come up to me, i send you to hell immedeatly! never kena saman before? driving so fast near school area. blind bugger cannot read signs meh?!!
CHIBAI, what's your freaking problem? if i ever. find out. who the bloody hell. you. are, you are going to regret it for the rest of your life. i will sue your pimply ass off, make you pay through your nose, no, pore!! and if possible, make you rot in a jail where you will be traded as a sex slave to fat, sweaty, perverted men who want it all the time (hard too!)for a few packets of cigarettes. no, make that toilet paper! hah!!! if not, i will make you a bankrupt and all that you love will shun you! i will spread horrible rumours about you and make it so that you will have no home no job, and best of all, NO CAR!!! how do you like that? huh?? HUHHHH????
and i won't be done yet! i will HUNT YOU DOWN and tear you apart from limb to limb WITH MY BARE HANDS and practice acupuncture on you! i will wrestle with you AND NOT THE FAKE ACT YOU SEE ON TV EITHER! i am talking real undiluted rage and fury. you think i cannot hit you? just ask my classmates! i have hard fingers form piano practice!!! i will bash your fugly face in, and tear every single strand of hair from your head and WAX YOUR HAIRY LEGS!! as i was walking up to my class, i had a ecurring fantasy of whipping out a rifle and shooting the tyre of the car so it would go screeching and careen off the road and fllip over many times and burt into an inferno of red death and flame. and you know the best part?
I can get away with it. who would blame me, who so dedicatedly went to a prestigious learning institution in pursue of an education for a better future and to learn how to be an honourable person so as to be able to give back to the country and community, only to be dangerously put on the brink of death, or serious injury and emotional distress by a physically defective(again, i'm just assuming, but really, all horrible people are ugly aren't they?)fugly maniacal RETARD (apology to all mentally challenged people for putting this maniac in the same class as you)who has issues???!!!
you mother f---ing bugger, i curse you!! i hope you will develop all types of sexually transmitted diseases, including crabs, and develop a horrible sense of fashion to the point where the real police will actually arrest you! I curse you to never win the lottery, can never find parking space, and find alchohol the most disgusting thing ever. i curse you to go bald by the your next birthday, and have terrible BO! and just for that honk, i CURSE YOU TO SHOOT BLANKS!HAH!!!!!
i am emotionally repressed, and extremely violent when provoked. as a result i have a lot of pent up anger. i look forward to releasing it if i find out who you are, so this is a lesson for everybody out there.
never. ever. mess. with. ME.
yuen
I ALMOST GOT RUN OVER TODAY!!!
i was innocently and, i admit, rather sleepily, walking across the road in front of my school, when some bloody idiot driving a silver car sped past me so CLOSE that i actually felt my bag touch the stupid side mirror!!! and the bloody farking idiot honked ME!! me???!!!
what is it's( since the obviously mentally defective person went so fast i didn't know if IT was a male or a female) bloody problem?? hah?? that wasn't even a 'pon pon'!!! this was a 'HOOOOOONNNNNNNNNKKKKK'!!! one of those super mengada-fied show off honks by drop outs and uneducated ass holes who do not know the meaning of and spelling of etiquette!
you want to drive it's not my problem. you want to drive fast and kill people, not my problem either. seriously la, do you really think i would care that much? would YOU? you want to drive and kill YOURSELF, LAGI not my problem. you want to drive and kill me, i come and whoop your ass, and tear you apart from limb to limb! I WILL GIVE YOU ONE TIGHT SLAP AND STUFF MY SUPER SHARP AND HARD FILE UP WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE!!!! you think i look small and docile, fella, you come and i show you what pent-up anger REALLY means!
drive so fast for what huh? HUHH?? i ask you, got fire is it? got baby to save from the burning building? got terminal disease is it? you want to die faster you come up to me, i send you to hell immedeatly! never kena saman before? driving so fast near school area. blind bugger cannot read signs meh?!!
CHIBAI, what's your freaking problem? if i ever. find out. who the bloody hell. you. are, you are going to regret it for the rest of your life. i will sue your pimply ass off, make you pay through your nose, no, pore!! and if possible, make you rot in a jail where you will be traded as a sex slave to fat, sweaty, perverted men who want it all the time (hard too!)for a few packets of cigarettes. no, make that toilet paper! hah!!! if not, i will make you a bankrupt and all that you love will shun you! i will spread horrible rumours about you and make it so that you will have no home no job, and best of all, NO CAR!!! how do you like that? huh?? HUHHHH????
and i won't be done yet! i will HUNT YOU DOWN and tear you apart from limb to limb WITH MY BARE HANDS and practice acupuncture on you! i will wrestle with you AND NOT THE FAKE ACT YOU SEE ON TV EITHER! i am talking real undiluted rage and fury. you think i cannot hit you? just ask my classmates! i have hard fingers form piano practice!!! i will bash your fugly face in, and tear every single strand of hair from your head and WAX YOUR HAIRY LEGS!! as i was walking up to my class, i had a ecurring fantasy of whipping out a rifle and shooting the tyre of the car so it would go screeching and careen off the road and fllip over many times and burt into an inferno of red death and flame. and you know the best part?
I can get away with it. who would blame me, who so dedicatedly went to a prestigious learning institution in pursue of an education for a better future and to learn how to be an honourable person so as to be able to give back to the country and community, only to be dangerously put on the brink of death, or serious injury and emotional distress by a physically defective(again, i'm just assuming, but really, all horrible people are ugly aren't they?)fugly maniacal RETARD (apology to all mentally challenged people for putting this maniac in the same class as you)who has issues???!!!
you mother f---ing bugger, i curse you!! i hope you will develop all types of sexually transmitted diseases, including crabs, and develop a horrible sense of fashion to the point where the real police will actually arrest you! I curse you to never win the lottery, can never find parking space, and find alchohol the most disgusting thing ever. i curse you to go bald by the your next birthday, and have terrible BO! and just for that honk, i CURSE YOU TO SHOOT BLANKS!HAH!!!!!
i am emotionally repressed, and extremely violent when provoked. as a result i have a lot of pent up anger. i look forward to releasing it if i find out who you are, so this is a lesson for everybody out there.
never. ever. mess. with. ME.
yuen
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)