procrastination + bad luck + disease

we started at nine-ish. we finished at 10.50.

I just KNOW i'm going to bomb it. Then she will hentam me kau kau.

*whimper*

it's at times like these that i wonder if i made the right choice

Young At Heart

Young At Heart is a classic movie (with color) starring Doris Day and Frank Sinatra.

Frank Sinatra plays this sullen pianist composer person who falls for Doris Day's cheerful character. God, even her name is so happy sounding.

Frank Sinatra was quite the stud in his day

:D

falling again

OMG YOU KNOW WHAT

I never thought I'd see the video for Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter. It just randomly popped up on Channel V's The 10.

It doesn't make for the most visually interesting video. Mostly him, close up of him, the beach, ocean, and a woman's flying hair.

He looks like he needs a shave badly. And a hair brush.

But I swear it's in my top 10.

I've fallen in love with the song again <3

Like a virgin..For the very first time

*cough*

Yeah man! I finally did another noob thing this year!

I stepped into a cybercafe for the very first time! (one that I had to pay for la..)

AND I PLAYED COUNTER STRIKE

and got killed 24 times in sucession, without killing anybody.. i said noob right..

Anyway! I can see why guys like to play it so much. As I was busy getting killed, there were woots, 'tulan's, and screams all around me. It must be quite fun to suceed in releasing that pent up violence in the form of snipers, machine guns and team playing. I had people like Jeff, Jay, and Reagan who clicked a few buttons here and there and told me what to press, etc. but then they turn around and kill me instead. -_-' give chance a bit, boleh ke.

Anaz joined me for a while, and told me about her noob attempt at CS.
We must practice a bit together okay, Anaz.

Sure naik saham :D

bee in my bonnet : Orson- No Tomorrow. My new theme song.

letting go

A wise man (sort of) once said : Life's already complicated enough and you want stuff like this to f*** it up more? Let it go

let it go

Three simple words that got me thinking about drama, ancient and recent. I think that a common trait they all share is that once I got involved, it's hard for me to let go. It's like you can forgive, but you can't forget. Why would you want to anyway? Part of life experiences are so that you remember the lesson that you learnt, if not, there you go repeating history. And even if you wanted to forget, how on earth could you do that? Unless time passed, and it slipped from your mind, drama is something that's memorable.

But drama has its way of taking its toll on me. I've gone uber crazy, it messed up my hormones and my ability to concentrate on the finer things in life, and it made the people around me suffer my rants and wails. I don't know la, why it's hard for me to let go.

Sometimes it's because I'm so outraged by the idea of something going wrong, some kind of horrible injustice being done, or something that totally goes against my principles, and the idea of letting it go would be like saying it's okay. But sometimes I guess when the people it concerns seem to be getting on fine in life, I guess I should probably chill a bit yah?

Sometimes it's because its the first ever time I've ever had to deal with such shit, and I have absolutely no idea how to handle it. And the potential for it to blow up even further freaks me out. Friends give left right centre advice, and I can't make up my mind, because there is no real right answer. And this will indirectly effect other future problems! kind of like the immune system and psychological conditioning. like that malay proverb, something about being bitten by a snake and being scared of rope? er..yeah...

Sometimes it's because there's that little inkling hope that things will get better, something will give way; and you don't want to give up.

So it's a surprise when I do let go, things don't seem to go quite as... dramatic as I thought it would be. It's so..peaceful and clear; it's like listening to something pop-py after a long long period of emo songs.

Pai Kia

Eyeballing at wakes

Hot chap dudes from friendster

My list of hotties

Bayiis and Bhais

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA

this is what we talk about. :D
And come to random sentences and conclusions. And how we booooooonnnnnddddd!
Like Anaz's and my weakness for Pai Kia
Lance Bass's retarded eyes and his gayness
Kar's luckiness in studying where most of the hot chap dudes from friendster are.
Lee's GeniusSO. yeah la yeah la, top of the class...

i love late night conversations

Now I've come to cry
Shed your skin to rest my naked eye
And criticize
All that I implore
Seems to be one foot outside that door
Coming between me and waking

Underneath the corset of your mystery
Piece by piece undress you from your history
I'm sleeping with seclusion in sweet disarray
You can go heavy on me
And I will not weigh you down, down, down

You can be steady and clean
I can take it
Heavy on me
And I will not weigh you down

Born unto this pride
Silence is something you can't hide
You can't deny us
Nothing has been said
Yet so many words have filled my head
Now they completely surround me

Tie the lines of honest conductivity
Caught between the center of our gravity
I don't have that much time to burn anymore

Holly Brook - Heavy

Hey you.
You know who you are.
This song was sent to me to match my emo mood.
I now dedicate it to you.
I'm there for you like I know you'll be there for me.
You're going to come out from this wiser, stronger and no less loved, remember that!
I meant every word I ever said to you.
My shoulder is available 24/7.

You're my friend, and heck, that means something!
You deserve better, a million times more deserving; someone who will respect you, love you, and protect you from stupidevildespicable things.
There will be ass kicking, metaphorically or otherwise.
You just wait. Nobody can, or should do this to my friend.

rawr.

fire in the hole!

1) Four things not many know
I have a scar on my shin that was caused by bad karma that I got in form 3, and it's never fully healed.
I entered the hospital when I was a baby and almost died.
When to use 'then' and 'than'.
I haven't touched the piano in over a year.

2) Four movies I could watch over and over.
Love Actually
Sense and Sensibility
Mean Girls
She's All That

3) Four places I have lived.
The Ampang House
My Grandma's House a few streets away from mine
My current house in lala-land (Shush, J)
The Other 1 1/2 storey house

4)Four TV shows I love to watch.
House MD
The Simpsons
Hana Yori Dango
Sweet Sixteen

5) Four places I have been on vacation.
Singapore
Langkawi
Hong Kong/China/the place of origin of my altophobia
Melaka (eeewww)

7) Four of my favourite foods.
Seafood
Hard boiled eggs (esp. cha yip tan)
Tau Foo Fah
Vanilla ice cream with brownies

8) Four places I would rather be
Gurney Drive
Kar's house playing with DevilDevon
One Utama shopping with Linda and KAF, best people to shop with
In Japan, watching cherry blossoms

9 )Four fave songs (this hour)
Ai Otsuka's Planetarium
Ai Otsuka's Kingyo Hanabi (Goldfish Fireworks)
ARASHI's Wish
CBR's Breathless

10) Four people I tag!
Anaz
Nash
Lee
Joshua (mampus la rambus)

otak otak

I am very very the tidak puas.

I bought otak otak from the fair.

8 ringgit worth okay, 12 sticks.

I ate a couple cause i tak tahan.

And i forgot to take the rest

bodohnyaaaaaaaaa

:(

Complete and utter madness

what is it like to come home and go mad?

When I say mad, I don't mean La Kereta mad, I mean hormonal, emo, crazy mad. In s bad way.

I mean mad like sms Kar so crazily your first message is unreadable.

I mean mad like Kar's class doesn't end for another hour and you start pacing around the room.

I mean mad like lying on the bed, staring at the fan, cry fits and starts, and clutching the phone desperately.

I mean mad like the need to talk to somebody, anybody so insanely you call the first person who you feel you can talk to and not be judged.

I mean mad like the confusion you get when you get the ringtone, and you immediately hang up because you feel stupid. The feeling of being so desperate to let it out, and yet so desperate to not say anything and pray this is all some big joke.

I was perfectly normal an hour and a half ago.

Now I'm confusion epitomised.