letting go

A wise man (sort of) once said : Life's already complicated enough and you want stuff like this to f*** it up more? Let it go

let it go

Three simple words that got me thinking about drama, ancient and recent. I think that a common trait they all share is that once I got involved, it's hard for me to let go. It's like you can forgive, but you can't forget. Why would you want to anyway? Part of life experiences are so that you remember the lesson that you learnt, if not, there you go repeating history. And even if you wanted to forget, how on earth could you do that? Unless time passed, and it slipped from your mind, drama is something that's memorable.

But drama has its way of taking its toll on me. I've gone uber crazy, it messed up my hormones and my ability to concentrate on the finer things in life, and it made the people around me suffer my rants and wails. I don't know la, why it's hard for me to let go.

Sometimes it's because I'm so outraged by the idea of something going wrong, some kind of horrible injustice being done, or something that totally goes against my principles, and the idea of letting it go would be like saying it's okay. But sometimes I guess when the people it concerns seem to be getting on fine in life, I guess I should probably chill a bit yah?

Sometimes it's because its the first ever time I've ever had to deal with such shit, and I have absolutely no idea how to handle it. And the potential for it to blow up even further freaks me out. Friends give left right centre advice, and I can't make up my mind, because there is no real right answer. And this will indirectly effect other future problems! kind of like the immune system and psychological conditioning. like that malay proverb, something about being bitten by a snake and being scared of rope? er..yeah...

Sometimes it's because there's that little inkling hope that things will get better, something will give way; and you don't want to give up.

So it's a surprise when I do let go, things don't seem to go quite as... dramatic as I thought it would be. It's so..peaceful and clear; it's like listening to something pop-py after a long long period of emo songs.