8 things about my perfect lover

Nash tagged me but I can't really do this because after thinking about it, there's no perfect lover. And even if there was a perfect lover, I wouldn't know he was perfect because that's still in the unknown self part of my Johari window. And I’m as fickle as anybody I know. My standards change all the time. If you asked me if i would ever date a smoker a year ago, i would have said "over my dead body" instantly; plus together with the stereotyped image of the teenage male smoker, we would never have worked out. But now if you pose that same question, I’d say 'probably', because now I know there's more to people than just their nicotine dependency. Their habits shouldn't define who they are, and putting down people because they smoke is just as bad as stereotyping geeks and bimbos according to how they dress. Hypocritically, I do that, but I’m not mean to their face mean.

But i think through past crushes i can more or less list 8 things/requirements that attract/repel me..

HEIGHT

He must be taller than me. Or at least the same height as me, but that would mean I wouldn't wear high heels as often. :( I'm shallow like that. You can be skinnier than me (a lot of guys nowadays are *small*), younger than me, have longer eyelashes than me. but. not shorter. Cause I’m already so short ( I seem to recall somebody asking me what food Assunta serves since Francine and Anaz were also small sized), that any more short genes would result in midget sized offspring that kena trampled. Plus, if he’s taller, can lean on his shoulder mahhh

HUMOUR

Unless he has shit loads of $$$ or looks like orlando bloom+steve yap+alan yun+shawn yue, this is very important. If he doesn't have the sense of humour to make me laugh, it's okay, I find a lot of other things to laugh about, but he must have the sense of humor to laugh WITH ME.. okay, most of the time people laugh AT me, that's okay too, but the important thing is he isn't some stuffed up doody. It's also important that we find the same things funny. This could prove a bit difficult seeing as how I apparently have a weird sense of humor (DEFINE weird humor, I DARE you, it's almost oxymoronic okay, to ...limit and CHAIN down that adjective to a single stereotype!), as can be seen from Calvin's latest post on his blog. Just to be clear I can spell properly okay. My fat fingers are always in a rush when I’m online-ing people.

CONFIDENCE

This is pretty much a no-brainer; it's a widely known fact that girls find confident guys more attractive. And from what I HAVE OBSERVED (i'm not generalising okayyy), the more confident guys flirt a heck of a lot more. And not always so subtly. Of course, it's usually the friendly i know-that-you-know-this-isn't-leading-up-to-anywhere flirting. I've done it, been done to, seen it, heard it. Sure it doesn't lead anywhere, especially when you know they're attached, but I find it ..charming? in a way? I've come a long way from spluttering and blushing when someone asked me if i wanted a french kiss (he was referring to a sort of drink. I didn't know okay.) to being able to *somewhat* flirting back. I will admit i had help. I found out i was doing it all wrong when Reaganboy sent me this website : http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten_60/80_dating_list.html nyahahahah!
There's the suave charmer.. Hell, he's confidence personified. He's so confident he's almost cocky. Nothing can perturb him, girls lust after him, and he knows it.

LOOKS

It's hard to pin point down an exact type of look that attracts me. I've had crushes on geeky looking people, the 'cool' looking type, the bad boy image omigod bad boys are so hot all the way to people who when I point him out to friends, they give me an "are you okay" look. I mean, come on right.. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder mah.. Currently there's nobody, but I *still* find bad boys the most attractive PHYSICALLY.. there's the whole brooding look not to mention he had a very uncanny resemblance to shawn yue and most of these guys have a great smirk. yes, smirk. If you're really unlucky, they'll also have a melting grin. they rarely smile.. hm... I should also clarify here that sometimes people who look like the typical bad boy stereotype usually aren't. Again, smoking doesn't and shouldn't define you. But God, he looked hot. Smouldering hot. Fried egg hot. And that's the point.

Would I date someone who was ugly? Depends. Looks play a big part in attraction, and attraction plays a part in liking someone, which plays a preeeeetttyyy big part in relationships. Of course, being the hottest guy on campus doesn’t mean there’s immediate attraction (remember I have eccentric taste). But then it’s not so surprising anymore when you see hot guys with plain/ugly girls or vice versa, so.. yeah. As long as you're attracted to him, who cares? you're the one in the relationship, so all that matter is that you're attracted to the person you're going to be doing it with. :p

AFFECTION

Or rather the lack of it. What I mean is aloofness. The thrill of the chase is intoxicating. What Dr Greg House, Rukawa Kaede (yes, from Slamdunk…), Frank Sinatra’s character in Young At Heart (Old old classic with Doris Day that you can catch on cinemax) have in common is that they are gruff and aloof. No, I don’t want a guy who treats girls like shit, but PDA’s are quite over rated. With people (fictional they may be) like these, you know when they really mean the things the say or do, because it’s not the norm for them. Their quiet declarations of acceptance and feelings for you ( no matter how subtly they hint) speak louder than 999 roses with ‘I love you’s stamped all over ever could. Displays of Affection are normal scenes everywhere. You have the quiet ones like holding hands, and there are flashy showing ones like making out and the 999 roses. Okay la, the roses bit was cute I guess. Anyhow, I’ve come to the realization that after a certain stage, I’m not someone who needs all that jazz. I will ask, he’ll smirk and hold my hand. And I know. :D

AMBITION

perfectlover knows what he wants and he gets it. Ambition drives him and he has what it takes to succeed because he is destined to make it in this world. He's independent and hell determined. He is a born leader (hence the charm) and is definitely going to make headlines whereever he goes.

CHEMISTRY

Something I probably wouldn’t know much about considering I dropped the subject in form 5 and did interact work and read during class in form 4 because I planned to drop it anyway. Nyahaha.. I did pay attention during the first four months though.. I scored an A for my March exams.

Imagine each person in the world has specific atoms flying around themselves. Imagine these atoms create the aura surrounding each person. Imagine unstable atoms from different people merging to create a firm stable bond, separable only by the fiery heat energy of hell. These people click. They are yin and yang. They fit like the perfect pair of boots. They are the till death do us part people, hence the hell bit. Their bond is held together by one stubborn little atom (sometimes more) but it’s held together like elephant super glue and fishing line stitching.

Now imagine the same atoms. Imagine putting unstable atoms being made more unstable by other atoms. The results is one heck of a burnt lab and NO MORE EXPERIMENTING for a long time. Some people just don’t click. For no apparent reason. It’s just bad chemistry between them. Period. It’s happened before and it’s sickening. You want to pull hair and diss them out but you can’t obviously. But at least here there's chemistry.

What if there's absolutely no chemistry? you campur water and oil nothing interesting happens. they dont mix. they dont react. heck, its not even water and oil. it's like putting a banana next to a painting. nothing interesting happens. zilch. nada. bo liao. BORING

gentleMAN

Eeeeeeeverybody knows my story with Orange. Yes. I have learnt my lesson. I will listen to my friends the next time they say " But Yuen, he's sorta..um..how to say...gay." yeah, my perfect lover is all man okay. Can tahan metrosexual a bit. But he's all macho. The absolute gentleman. The whole open doors for you, ladies first, see you to the door type. The type you can count on to fix things around the house and kill cockroaches. Feminists might start throwing stones at me now. Hah! but then he will throw stones balik at them. And i'll finally have someone real to threaten people with when they usik me. If he was an athlete as well, that would be a plus. Then I have some motivation to go jog.

Of course, perfectlover can come dance right under my nose and i might never realise. Every guy i've ever met (okay the straight ones okay) have a chance, duh. Like i said, standards change like everyday. But how do you ever determine if you're ready to be in a relationship with any guy? lets not even talk marriage. lets say going steady. I have possibly the most horrible method ever. I imagine the guy in question with another girl. How jealous am I? If i'm completely unperturbed/jealous, too bad sudah habis chance. There's no feeling or passion in the least. So you can see why it's confusing when you use the imaginary method but you end up feeling sad. Because that just means you have to give up. What if you're happy? well, if that happens, you shouldn't even be using this method to find out your attraction level.

bee in my bonnet: Kiss goodbye- wang lee hom

Ps: hey nash, am i sposed to tag anybody back? er... i tag... people who read this and blog :D