0013

Clarification.

That's what my life needs. Good clear guidelines to follow. Can see black, can see white. No grey areas, no vague questions, all clear rules to obey, all also can see right and wrong.

I feel damn blardy full right now. The effects of one small ice blended ribena and a bigger one with longans at Williams with some of the college peeps. Plus a few bites of Meatball Spaghetti and Reagan's leftover ManBurger. Plus the fact that I had just finished my curry laksa dinner just before I left the house. *burp* But my lips are slightly purple. So is my tongue :D It's probably for the best that I had dinner at home, I find it more and more difficult to eat in public anymore. Shizz that, I find it difficult to eat with people.

It's always fun to hang out at yumcha sessions; but like it has been happening lately, I end up like this. In need of clarification. The importance of clarifying certain things to people has never been more important as of late.

I have a terribly fragile sensitive ego. My ego is like. Some sickly withering Pokok Semalu. Touch also will shrivel up and die dot com. My ego is bonded with my self perception. My self perception is bonded with all the messages that I receive from people. I secretly care wan, okay. Sometimes when I say I terasa.. I really really terasa. Then I will console myself with ribena.

Sometimes I wonder if ribena can be used as a benchmark for my emotions. That'd make me bankrupt. So when I'm at home and in my bed, like right now, my benchmark is my bolster.

And right now it's being hugged to death.