*sigh*

On the bus back home, I saw a wreckage near the turning to PJ, where the bus drops off one of the students. It was an abandoned car, and it looked beat up enough for its driver to be seriously injured, what with all the shattered glass around it. Touch wood la, but... confirm die wan. Okay no la, not die choichoichoi.

Sometimes when I see accidents happen, I get very shuddery thoughts. Especially if you see firemen pull people out of the wreckage or worse still, putting inside black trash bags. Very sombre-ing. Accidents are accidents; unprecedented, unexpected, unwanted. Whenever I see this type of thing in real life, not just reading about it, then only does it have any sort of impact. Reading about it or hearing about it from the media just feels very disconnected. And when any sort of impact takes hold, I think of people. And how I feel about them. And what I last said to them, and what I didn't say to them.

I'd really hate to have any regrets. Any advice I ever give is centred on my philosophy to live life without regrets. And so, IF I ever. er. fly to fairyland.. I want :

To tell him I miss him and that I'm sorry and that I just really really want things back the way they were before the week.

To tell her that as complicated as it seems now, everything will get better. As long as she's happy and NO REGRETS then best la.

To tell him that I was so turned off by him at camp, so if he's going to talk all over the place about THAT people should know the full story. DAMAGE CONTROL. If I'm going off to fairyland, for crissakes, lemme clear my rep.

To tell her that I think she's a horrible example of a friend, but I wish her luck anyway, but good luck having any contentment in life thirty years down the road if all that's in her head is superficiality.

To tell him thanks for being the best male friend, and that I sincerely wish him all the fun and happiness and that he will settle down when he meets the right person :D

To tell her that I truly admire her maturity and courage to speak her mind and form her own opinions

To tell him that I sayang him banyak banyak and that I want nothing more than for him to be motivated

To tell them they were the highlight of my years because now when I think back, I can't remember anything as clearly as them

To tell her I wish she'd have given me space to be myself

To tell him that it's not his fault, and that it was me who has changed

To hug him and be manja-ed again

***

For Linda : here's one more addition to my entree for today's LIFE game.

Beach. Night. Stars. Sand.
I can stand close and not feel janggal.
Things will feel normal again.
The sea will wave. And we won't wave back.
Cause we're too in the moment to move.