Abang Syah

Honestly, it's a sad sad truth that we live in an urban city that's cynical and sceptical as hell. Even in quiet well to do neighbourhoods, there's hardly any trust among neighbours, let alone strangers. Strangers are understandably suspicion arousing, like when little kids come to your gate and ring the doorbell and ask for donations because they're from an orphanage. For crying out loud, what kind of a retard do you think I am that I would donate money to an 'orphanage' that sends its kids out begging for money door to door in the hot sun. But there's the occasional exception when you do let in people you don't know through the door. Like service people. Yes yes I know, there are imposters that pass off as service people also, but when they can produce identification of company, my house number, my dad's name on a receipt, plus the maid remembers that my dad got someone to change the gas hose a few years ago, I pretty much take the chance and let him in.

Okay la, it wasn't me who let him in, when I got home his shoes were already outside the door, and he had just started inspecting the gas hose. He told me and Ros (my domestic help) that the hose that we were currently using had no automatic valve function and the hole at the end of the hose was lose. Essentially, that meant gas could leak out and KABOOM, fire terjadi lar. He demostrated the new and improved hose that had the automatic valve function. What he did was this:

He disconnected the hose from the stove, and plugged his thumb over it. He took out his lighter (aiyer, smoker! Puasa la, 'bang!) and held it about an inch away from the hose. vooooooooshhhhh! you could see a big flame at the end of the hose now. Like some big ass lighter! Okay, so from the observation of the mini science experiment, we can conclude that there is gas coming out from the end of the hose.

Next experiment, he replaced the old hose with the new one, the one with the automatic valve function. Repeat steps. This time observation says there is no more flame at the hose. Therefore can conclude that this hose does not allow gas to come out from the hose when it is not attached to the stove. So safer la hor!

So now it's pretty obvious that as a safety precaution, the hose should be changed, because not only is it loose, if it does come off when the maid happens to be cooking, mati la semua. If we get the new hose, it's tight, and if it does happen to come off next time when it's gotten loose, the valve function prevents the gas from escaping from the gas cylinder.

He also showed the new gas meter. You know the big bulky thing that connects the hose to the gas cylinder? My kitchen uses the old type; there's a new type that again, has some automatic function, plus a meter the level of gas left in the cylinder. He demonstrated the function on the bulky connecter using the same lighter method, but unfortunately when he was demonstrating on the old plug thing, he must have not controlled the gas properly with his thumb because it resulted in a SUPER HUGE FLAMING GUN LIKE VOOOSSHHH that surprisingly didn't flame the counter. That got me and the maid shrieking and scuttling away, Nyahahah. he quickly turned it off and apologized hurriedly, but when he asked me if to wave my hand on the end of the new plug thing to feel if there was any gas coming out of it, I immediately declined. Er er, I take your word for it la....

Anyway, now was the question of permission. Letting you into the house is one thing, buying a 59 dollar hose is another. I was more than ready to pay for the hose, because it concerns safety and whatnot, but my mom had different ideas. Or perhaps a completly different brain. As soon as the words ' service fella', 'hose', 'change' came out of my mouth she started flaming ME. "No! I didn't call any service people, why let him into the house, what this change hose, no need, just tell them no need, I don't want anything, get them out of the house" I couldn't get a word in otherwise. So fine, I had to (embarassingly) explain to Syah (that's his name, by the way) that my mother was paranoid about strangers. He understood, probably something you pick up in this line of work. But now the maid was paranoid, because she's the one that does the cooking. If any flame accident happens...well, I'm not the one getting injured... So she asked me to call 'Sir' (my dad la) because even she knows my dad is more logical and will listen more patiently to reason.

So when I call my dad I have to explain properly this time, with extra nitty gritty explanations. If you've heard me and the way I come up with metaphors and methods to memorise facts, you will have guessed that I usually have rather exasperating conversations to get my point across to my blur dad.

"Okay okay so you see right, you have the stove on your left! Then right, your gas tong, you know the... blue colour container? Ah, that one is on your right, yes? Then in between, there is the hose, connecting the stove and the blue color thing. Gettit?"

"...Huh. Okay okay, start again, explain slowly.."

*sigh* "Okay... you got the stove! and you have that... that...blue.. gassy thing.."

"Cylinder ah?"

"AHHHH YES YES cylinder!! Okay, so you have a stove and you have a gas cylinder right! Then connecting the two got that hose hose thing right! Remember or not, last time, a few years ago, you had the hose changed?"

"Change the hose? No, I didn't change the hose.."

"Noooo, not you, you called someone to change the hose remember? Ros said you called the company and someone came to change???"

"Ohh yes yes okay, so?"

"Ah, so the fella say your hose got problem, leaking and got no valve thing wor..You see right, he said the hose should change every three or so yea-"

"Okay so charge how much for the new hose? "(finally caught on and fast forward pulak)

*ask Abang Syah*

"He said 59 dollars for the short one, 79 for the long one "

talktalktalktalktalk, I told Daddy how he demonstrated. Thank God he knows his daughter is not a retard; I mean come on, give me some credit, it's not like I fell for a magic card trick. You have one hose and resulting fire. You have another hose which doesnt allow fire. CHOOSE LA!

Then my dad said okay la, since it's some safety thing , and I had money, and the fella was there to install it, might as well change it. I made sure to ask repeatedly that I had HIS permission to let the guy change the hose, making sure to whine that Mom had scolded me when I had called her.

"I got YOUR permission ah! Because Mommy said no no, just tell him to go away all.. *whine* Got YOUR permission okay!?"

"Yeah la yeah la, YOU don't worry, I will handle it (snort, even he knows what's coming). You just do it la"

So while Syah went off to ask his colleague who was changing the hose at another house further up the street for a short $59 hose, I went off to hunt in my money stash. Then as soon as I come downstairs with the cash, Dad calls again.

"Tell the fella no need"

"Hah?? What, Why?"

"Just tell him no need, I call another fella to come inspect and make sure first."

"Oh, okay la then. But he demonstrated you know! Tell you what, I tell him to come back tonight to show you and Mommy lar haijo"

more talktalktalktalktalktalk

I end up sheepishly telling Syah that I don't need the hose anymore. PAISEH. I explain the situation to him, and he's pretty understanding. As he's reinstalling the old hose, he makes small talk. It was an enjoyable chat, he wasn't perverted at all, polite and funny. He kept reassuring Ros because she was quite freaked out by his 'demos' saying, "Releks la, cik, saya pun belum kahwin, kalau mati pun, mati sama-sama" :D

"Apa nama dik ah?"

"Yuen Yee"

"Oh, wendy.." *-_-' But I'm used to it, so let it slide*

"Berapa umur Wendy?"

"18"

"Ohh, Wendy ada adik beradik ke?"

"Ada, kakak. Overseas, kat Singapore."

"Oh, jadi dua anak je la?"

*nods*

*grins* "Patutla manja ngat.."

He also inquired on my 'asal usul', meaning where I was from.

"Keluarga you dari mana ah?"

"Dari? oh, KL la"

"Ohh.. ingat dari Perak.. Pernah pergi Perak? Saya dari Ipoh! "

"Oh ye ke? Tak la, tak pernah pegi kat Perak.."

" Nak pegi tak? HAHAHA"

talktalktalk

"Oh, bahasa kamu pun agak bagus ye!"

"hooo hooo hoo! tak laaa.. sebab...s'kola national.. " *grin*

Pn. Martita would be proud of my accent when I speak casual Malay. PETAH TAU!

It was quite exasperating to think that everything could have been settled easily in like 5 minutes if it wasn't for the rampant cons and scams going around everywhere everyday that made my parents have to be super suspicious and cynical. Syah mentioned how usually the more educated families were more reasonable about the changing of equipment, whereas 'orang kampung kampung tu la, yang kena explain detail lebih, sebab tak faham'. All I could do was shrug, what was I to do but follow instructions. I did ask him to change the metal grip on the old hose because the old one didn't work very well. $2.50. But if the parents ask, it was free... nanti I yang kena lecture la...

When he was finally done, he asked Ros if she was puasa-ing. When she asked why, he said "I sudah mandi peluh la, dahaga! Kena la buka puasa, tapi kalau orang tanya.. shhh" :D So I served him ice water filled to the brim of the mug, wala, finish the whole cup. As he left, he left his handphone number, saying if I wanted him to come around to give the demo to my parents or explain to them, I could just call him. True also, if I'm employing Ros, obviously I'm responsible for her safety at her workplace. $59 ringgit is nothing compared to the damage and cost a full out fire would cause.

So when the parentals come home tonight, I'm going to go full out force with my persuasion skills, if that fails, then logic skills, if THAT fails, then I'll just whine... "I'm not the one cooking, I'm not the one dying.."

Abang Syah is probably the best service follow up dude who has ever done business with my family. He explains properly, and you are assured that he doesn't get any profit whether or not you buy the stupid hose. So it personally doesn't matter to him if you buy it or not. "Hak kamu la, nak beli ke tak nak.. I'm here to make sure sudah explain, you all faham bleh la.." Plus he's pretty trustworthy, and friendly, and best of all, not perverted. So yes, next time your kitchen or gas needs checking, call la Syah yeah!

bee in my bonnet: Ching Fei TeYi - Harlem Yu and f4. :D