Lesson learnt.

Reagan can try his luck at becoming a psychologist. He's damn good. We had a super long conversation about many things, both deep and shallow matters of the mind and heart, and equally random topics.

In fact, that's probably the reason why ReaganBoy is my best male friend. He was the first one I told when I got a crush, and he's always the optimist where I can only be a pessimist. Oh yeah, and he's damn nice about driving me back. I only found out how far away we lived when a group of us went to his house last week. I will never ask him for a ride home anymore. And one of Reagan's main duties in college is to reassure me about..everything and anything. :D

Anyway, talking to Reagan is one of the most productive things one can do at night. Because sometimes the stuff he asks makes me think and analyze. While talking to him I realized a LOT of things.

Like, how the year has completely flown by. It's almost Christmas and it seems like just a few months ago when we were lining up for photos for our student IDs and taking that english comprehensive test. We recalled on first impressions on the people in college, the people we hung out with, how our group eventually collected together, and the new people in college. I felt damn old when I was thinking about all this, and the fact that I will turn 19 in about 5 months seems so very very unreal. It's the last year I will be a teen!

And then I remembered my 18th birthday celebration. Fond memories of running in the rain, laughing like mad, singing CBR over and over again in the car which everybody else tolerated because of my birthday immunity, and a really enjoyable play with people whose company I enjoy! In fact the only way it could have better is if I had my other friends there to go insane with. In fact, I think that should happen next year! I want everybody whom I love to celebrate my most fantastic day of the year with me!

And we go on for a bit about my issues and why I just don't see anything other than flaws. And how I've really grown in terms of confidence since I've started college.

And then he asks me about Him. And later on he asks me

hey what kind of bf wud u prefer to have ?
apart from someone who can reassure u that ur a girl

one that makes me feel like a girl
oh.
err.
uuuuummmm..
leemmmmee thiiiink
one that will manja me
and is protective
and i can be like. soft. around him. um.. do you get that? as in.. i duno la, sometimes i'm kinda tired of having to stand up for myself, and it would be nice to have somebody to stand up for me instead so i dont have to be all tough or shit.

got it 100%

and then soon after that he died already cause he didn't reply my messages! eesh.